Two broad styles of writing

Should you use hypotaxis or parataxis in business writing?

Instead of explaining the difference between the two, I’m going to try show you.

This paragraph is written in a hypotactic style:

Although a public announcement will be made later in the week, I wanted to tell you personally that as of the first of next month, I will be leaving my position to accept a three-year assignment in our Joburg office. As soon as further details about the management of your account are available, I will share them with you.

This paragraph is written in a paratactic style:

I wanted to tell you personally that I will be leaving my position to accept a three-year assignment in our Joburg office. This will happen from the first of next month. I will have further details about the management of your account soon, and I will share them with you. The business will make a public announcement about this later in the week.

Which do you prefer? Which do you think is more appropriate for business writing?