How to improve the quality of your existence

How do you exist in the world? How do you show up? These are questions that the concept of the Ontological Way of Being tries to answer.

It can get pretty philosophical, but in simple terms, the way you exist in the world is not fixed, nor stable. Our way of being, how we are in the world, is ever changing and rests on the interplay of three areas (according to the Ontological Way of Being): language, emotions and body. 

Language – this is about how we use language to create meaning and influence people.

Emotions – this is about how our feelings affect the way we behave, how we interact and what we think.

Body – this is about what we do, but also about how we hold our body and how we inhabit our physical selves and our physical space.

So we all have a way of being in the world, and I think it is most useful to understand this in terms of how we can become better communicators.

So, five pieces of advice to being a better communicator based on the Ontological Way of Being:

1.     BE AWARE OF AND BECOME FAMILIAR WITH YOUR WAY OF BEING. The words you use are important and you should pay attention to these. But you should also be aware of and work to manage your emotions. And you should also gain insight into and control of what your body does.

2.     REMEMBER THAT COMMUNICATION IS A TWO-WAY PROCESS. So be present for the other person and their way of being. Listen, empathise and ask more questions to understand the other person better.

3.     BE MINDFUL OF YOUR LANGUAGE. You use it not simply to describe the world. You also use it to inspire action and shape reality. Work hard to be clear, concise and courteous in your language use.

4.     PUT CONNECTION AND RELATIONSHIPS FIRST. Communication always occurs within the context of relationships so focus on building and maintaining strong connections with others.

5.     BE FLEXIBLE, READY TO ADAPT, BUT BE TRUE TO YOURSELF. Good communication almost always starts with the other person’s way of being, not yours. So being able to adapt is important, but balance this with authenticity and sincerity.

We started with the question “How do you exist in the world?”. A more pertinent question might be “What is the quality of your existence?”. These are related questions, though, because the quality of your existence largely depends on the relationships you have, and the relationships you have flow from your way of being, and your way of being is how you exist in the world.

Sorry, I hope that wasn’t too esoteric!